The Great Library of Palanthas

An Aesthetic shows you to a small reading room.

Stories of Ansalon from the view of Dukar.

A little gully dwarf runs by and says 'Wordwrap Off 65 80.'
The gully continues 'Eyes hurt? Turn Color OFF!! (regular story dates)

Astinus says 'Enter the main library here to view only the author list.'
Astinus gently places a pulp magazine on the table in front of you.
You note the spine bears the word 'Dukar' scribed in vibrant white ink.



Author:  Dukar
Date    Sat Aug 24 01:15:57 2002


Subject  An the crowd goes wild! (humor)




*the lights around the solace inn flash on and the crowd begins to roar,
that's right, another fight is coming up, are you ready for the main event
kiddies?!? Well, too bad, cus here it comes!*

*The announcer, Thez Leeroy Prostitute enters the ring dressed in a
flamboyant pink john travolta suit and begins the announcements!*

Thez says 'Ladies and Gentlemen, draconians and goblins, this is the main
event!' Thez says 'Here come our competitors now!'

*The lights flash to the kitchen of the Solace Inn as a man walks out with a
plate of scalloped potatoes, he drops it and does a little dance* *He enters
the ring* *The lights then flash to an off corner and a man dressed in pots
and pans, and wielding a rusty nail does a flex and looks menacing, before
he enters the ring* *The lights then flash to the door of the inn and in
walks in a man dressed in a money suit, with a flaming helmet and he enters
the ring*

Thez stands in the middle of the ring and says 'Tonight we have a three-way
dread match!' Thez says 'In this corner, in the monkey suit and flaming
headwear, weighing at as much as your average fat cow is The
SorinjINCINERATOR!' Thez says 'In this corner, in the collage of
tupperware, weighing at 190 pounds, The DukARBITRATOR!' Thez says 'And
finally, in this corner, in the hollowed out dragonskull, weighing at 200
pounds, we give you, the one, the only, "Hoffy" Ted Duskin Hoffman!'
Thez says 'LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUMMMMMBLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!!!!' Thez
jumps out of the ring and walks over to Sidholt Injustice and begins making
bets as the match gets underway!

*The bell dings and the match begins*

The Incinerator leans back on the ropes and gets a starting run toward
Hoffman, he goes to make a tackle, but oh, the Arbitrator slides in from the
side and sweeps the feet from under him! Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't look
like a good start for the Incinerator!  Hoffy jumps on top of the Incinerator
and gives him his patented "lazywrist shoulder slap" and the Arbitrator stands
to his feet and drop kicks Hoffy to the forehead!   Ooooh, that had to hurt. 
Look at this, now as Hoffman falls on top of the Incinerator, the Incinerator
manages to give a headbutt to him, oooooh that was definately a low blow
there! The crowd screams and Sidholt Injustice, The Incinerator's manager
throws his hands in the air and seemingly goes crazy with joy.  The Arbitrator
moves back and begins to climb on the ropes as the Incinerator crawls out from
the groine-holding Hoffman.  As Dukar jumps from the ropes toward the
Incinerator, the Incinerator pulls a swift move, and catches the Arbitrator
mid-air, and slams him on top of Hoffman, who cries out in pain.  But what's
this folks?

Could it be? Oh yes, Dukar just stabbed the Incinerator with his rusty nail in
the kneecap!  He then rolls away and jumps to his feet as the Incinerator
pulls the nail out and throws it over his shoulder, which rebounds off of Thez
Leeroy Prostitute's head and into the crowd, one of the fans takes it and
cherishes it, puts it in a jar and smells it every morning for good luck! 
But, back to the fight!  As The Incinerator and the Arbitrator grapple each
other, Hoffman finally reaches his feet and runs to a corner in a girlish
manner, what's this? It looks like he has a young dragon pet chained to one of
the posts?  Is that legal?  Who gives a hell! He brings it in on the
unsuspecting wrestlers and stands behind it with an awesome gleam in his eyes.
 Look at him go, The Incinerator is about to give The Arbitrator the tombstone
as the dragon slaps his legs with its tail, knocking both wrestlers to the
mat, and Hoffman cackles.  But look at this Sidholt Injustice didn't like the
turn of events and apparently packed a gun, ooooh, he shoots the dragon in the
head, what a dirty old bastard!  Hoffman is sprayed with the dragon's cranial
matter, mmmmmmm, looks like chinese take

To be continued



Author:  Dukar
Date    Sat Aug 24 01:17:42 2002


Subject  An the crowd goes wild! (humor) 2




out!  Both the Arbitrator and Incinerator climb to their feet and look at
each other in agreeance that Hoffman had to be the first out.  The Arbitrator
leaps off the dead dragon and grabs Hoffman, holding him still while the
Incinerator climbs the ropes and jumps off, landing on the suspecting Hoffman,
who takes it hard and lands on the mat, where both wrestlers begin to boot him
incesantly.

It doesn't look good for Hoffman and his manager Ted Danvigharinni throws in
the towel! It's all over for Ted Duskin Hoffman, he is out of the match. 
Dukar and Sorinjin get their distance from each other and eye each other down
with both their best stares.  From below the ring Sidholt Injustice yells to
Sorinjin 'Do the Pinnacle of Dest-it-tutionnnnn!'. He screams!  The grin on
Sorinjin's face intensifies as he leaps to a handstand and gets in front of
Dukar, placing his feet under each of Dukar's arms he puts power to his legs,
all that's seen is pots and pans flying through the air as Dukar lands over
top of Sorinjin and flat on his head.  The crowd roars and says 'pinnacle,
pinnacle, pinnacle'.  Dukar looks dazed.  And Sorinjin hauls him toward the
rope where he wraps two of the ropes securely around his neck and pulls back
on him, the crowd's screams intensify as the setup is made... Look at that! 
Sorinjin aims and lets Dukar go, who flies down and smashes his head on the
floor below the ring and slides into the metal guards!  It looks like we have
a winner!  Sidholt Injustace hops madly at the victory and it looks as though
Thez is disappointed, as he had dibs on the Arbitrator.

*Thez jumps back in the ring with Sorinjin*

Thez says 'ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner, 3rd win in his new streak
and undisputed champion of the AWF, The So-Rin-Jin-Cinerator!!' Thez
says 'Now that Dukar is out of your way what do you plan to do next?'
Sorinjin says 'I'm going to Isney Land!' Thez says 'But what about your
next match?' Sorinjin says 'Terry Lynn will chew me up and use me as
recycled toilet paper, I needs me some HOs in preparation!' Thez says 'And
there you have it folks, stay tuned for the next match where the Incinerator
will face the almighty Terry Lynn!'

*rolls the commercial break*

The Storytellers of Ansalon, The DragonLance MUD

Astinus points to the massive wall of books behind him and bids you to make a selection.


Authors: All|A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M|N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

Astinus sighs as he recants 'We saved 803 books from Ansalon from before the great Cataclysm through today.'
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