The Great Library of Palanthas
An Aesthetic shows you to the private room of Skol.
A banana peel on the floor is overlooked and then...
WOOOOSH!!
You slip and slide headlong through the open window and land face
first in...
Skol's Dump
The room stinks, not just that it's bad, but it isn't even a room...
You're out the back door of the library, between buildings, in the middle of a
garbage pile.
Good lords the stench is overwelming!
A small gully dwarf dressed in rags looks up and says 'You read book? Me write em good!'
He beams innocently and looks around with the glee of a small child.
Skol glances up as Astinus carefully climbs into the 'room'.
'Lo lo Gil...Astinus!' he beams with pride 'Me remember!'
'Yes, but I think I hear Reorx calling little one.' Astinus says as he clears the debris from a small table in the pile.
He grins as Skol rushes off on some building project, 'Strange gully that one, but he does well, take a look for yourself.'
Stories of Ansalon from the view of Skol.
A little gully dwarf runs by and says 'Wordwrap Off 65 80.'
The gully continues 'Eyes hurt? Turn Color OFF!! (regular story dates)
Astinus says 'Enter the main library here to view only the author list.'
Astinus gently places a well written novel on the table in front of you.
You note the spine bears the word 'Skol' scribed in bright white ink.
Author: Skol Date Tue Oct 1 17:07:34 2002 Subject Rats! Weeeeee
Skol and the Serpent of Doom It was a dark and stormy afternoon (well, actually, it was just muddy, because in west Scrapper Lane, it was always muddy). Skol, a proud gully dwarf, and his beloved wife Bupu had just returned from Market Square, where they had spent the better part of an hour arguing over the best-smoked lizard and inspecting juicy dead rats for dinner. Bupu, of course, had high standards. "Dis rat too dry. I like plumper one. Like da ones Skol catches!" she declared loudly, just to make sure that Tobem, her ex-boyfriend (who was loitering nearby, pretending to haggle for moldy bread), heard her. Tobem scowled. Everyone knew Skol was the best at fishing dead things out of ditches. His handsomeness was undeniable too?his ears were symmetrical, and he only had one lazy eye instead of two. Feeling smug, Skol wrapped a proud arm around Bupu as they left the market, carrying their hard-earned feast (a particularly fine dead rat and a discounted smoked lizard missing its tail). They had no idea that the Serpent of Doom was about to ruin everything.
The Snake Arrives As night approached, a great freeze was coming - the kind that turned mud to rock and gully dwarves to shivering piles of complaints. Bupu, ever the practical one, began hauling her stolen potted plants indoors. What she didn't know was that one of them contained a stowaway - a small, wriggling green serpent, a beast no doubt spawned by the evil goddess Chislev herself! The moment it warmed up, it slithered free and vanished beneath the only piece of furniture they owned: an old, three-legged couch salvaged from an ogre's garbage heap. Bupu, seeing this horrific invader, let out a bloodcurdling shriek.
The Hero Arrives (Poorly Dressed) Skol, still soaking in his mud bath, heard his beloved's wail. In an act of great courage (and questionable wisdom), he bolted into the house - naked, dripping in mud, and armed with nothing but confidence and body odor. "WHAT HAPPEN?!" he bellowed. Bupu, standing atop the rickety table, jabbed a filthy finger at the couch. "SNAKE!" Skol's tiny brain immediately conjured an image of a giant, fire-breathing serpent, scales black as night, sent by Chislev to steal his smoked lizard and challenge his fishing supremacy. He dropped to all fours, peering into the darkness beneath the couch.
The Betrayal of the Dog At that precise moment, Mudsnout, their flea-bitten stray mutt from Palanthas, wandered over and cold-nosed Skol right in the behind. Skol, in all his naked, mud-covered glory, let out a shriek so high-pitched that birds abandoned their nests for miles. Thinking he had been bitten by the Serpent of Doom, he collapsed to the ground, writhing in imaginary venom. Bupu, certain that her dear husband had met his end, promptly fainted dead away, landing in a pile of stolen blankets.
The Gnomish Healers Arrive A passing neighbor (a half-drunk tinker gnome named Fizzle Geargrinder) heard the chaos and, assuming some great disaster had occurred, promptly summoned the gnomish healers. Within moments, a rickety gnomish carriage (which had way too many gears and pulleys for something pulled by a single, very tired donkey) came skidding to a stop outside. Gnomes in white tunics with red crosses leapt out, ignoring Skol's protests as they hauled him onto a stretcher. That's when the snake reappeared. The lead gnome, terrified beyond reason, promptly dropped his end of the stretcher. Skol tumbled off, cracking his leg on a loose cobblestone. The gnomes, thrilled by this unexpected turn of events, began taking notes about how falling from certain heights affected bone durability. Skol, meanwhile, sobbed manly tears into the mud as the gnomes cheerfully loaded him back up.
The Neighbor's Attempt at Heroism Meanwhile, Bupu still had a snake under her couch, so she did the most logical thing: she summoned the neighbor (Fizzle). Fizzle, being both brave and incredibly dumb, armed himself with a rolled-up scroll (which he was fairly sure had once contained important words). Poking under the couch, he declared the snake gone. Bupu, relieved, flopped onto the couch... ...and felt something slither against her hand. Her scream shook the hovel. She collapsed again, this time directly onto the floor, out cold. Fizzle, assuming she was dying of serpent venom, leapt to her aid and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
The Arrival of the Solamnic Cadets At that precise moment, Fizzle's wife arrived home from the market, arms full of turnips. Seeing her husband kissing Bupu, she did the only logical thing: She brained him with a sack of canned goods (or the medieval equivalent... solid iron turnips). Fizzle crumpled to the ground, his scalp bleeding dramatically (as gnome scalps tend to do). Right then, a squad of Solamnic Cadets burst through the door, drawn by the sounds of battle. Seeing Fizzle unconscious on the ground, Bupu still dazed, and a bottle of whiskey nearby (which she had intended for "medicinal" purposes), they immediately assumed a drunken brawl had broken out.
The Battle Escalates As the cadets were arguing over who should be arrested, the snake reemerged. One of the cadets, clearly in over his head, drew his sword and swung. He missed the snake entirely but destroyed a table leg, sending the table crashing to the ground. The lamp atop the table tumbled over, its oil spilling across the floor and onto the drapes. The drapes caught fire. Another cadet, in an attempt to extinguish the flames, panicked and flung himself bodily at them. Unfortunately, the window was in the way. He promptly crashed through it, landing on Mudsnout. Mudsnout, startled beyond belief, bolted into the street, where he was nearly run over by an oncoming cart full of fish - which just so happened to be driven by Tobem. Tobem, proving once again that he was not nearly as good at fishing as Skol, swerved to avoid the dog and barreled straight into the cadets' carriage, smashing it into splinters.
The Aftermath Eventually, the fire was put out, Skol and Fizzle were discharged from the healer's guild, the cadets got a new (less smashed) carriage, the dog returned home, and Bupu found a new table leg. Then, one evening, as they sat in the newly repaired hovel, Bupu turned to Skol and said: "Skol, cold snap coming. We bring plants inside?" And that's when Skol picked up a chair and threw it straight out the window. The End. Skol attempts to bow, very solemn in his child-like pose, but ends up falling upon his face in the mud, all the w hile giggling like a child.
Skol squints very hard at the sky with a puzzled look... "Dat sky's got gas or somethin'," he mutters. Sure enough, way off where the sky greets the land, there's smoke. At first it's a little smoke. Then it's more smoke. Then it's ALL smoke. "HEY XANTOR! Da sky's makin' barbecue!" Skol yells. While Xantor, who is sitting on a crate trying to read something dark and important, doesn't even look up. He just mutters, "This is not barbecue. This is probably a tear in the veil of magic caused by your last idea with the pickle fire." Bupu bounces in, tripping on a rock but proudly holdin' a squirmy frog. "I found him! Name's SQUISH!" she announces. Skol looks real impressed. Tobem, sittin' nearby gnawin' on a bootlace, frowns. "She ain't never named a frog after me..." he mumbles. The sky, meanwhile, is doing very un-sky things. It's goin' all glowy and orange like someone lit a torch too big. Xantor finally looks up and mutters, "Something wicked this way comes... or possibly very confused." Skol gasps. "Da sun's broke! We gotta fix it!" He grabs a nearby bucket and throws it at the smoke cloud. The bucket hits Bupu instead. She shrieks, "EEK! Skol hit me love frog!!" Then... THE SOUND. A horrible screech, like someone sittin' on a sack of angry ducks. Everyone freezes. "Dat's it! It's da end!" Tobem yells, hiding behind Bupu's frog (who does not look helpful). The shadow grows closer... darker... the air goes cold... Bupu clutches Squish dramatically... Skol screams... ... And then you wake up. ... In a barrel. ... Next to a slightly melted cheese wheel. And Xantor, brushing ash off his robe, mutters... "Next time, you're not allowed near the smoke signals."
The Storytellers of Ansalon, The DragonLance MUD
Astinus points to the massive wall of books behind him and bids you to make a selection.
Authors: All|A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M|N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z
Astinus mentions 'We have had over 879 storytellers on Ansalon pen their epic stories here for all to read.'
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